Why keeping friends after college is important—and how to keep them!

 

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Making friends in college is freaking easy.  We’re around people our age with a lot of similar interests (like your entire major and all the nerdy stuff people in your major do).  All your friends are generally within walking distance.  Everyone loves hanging out in groups and having events and going to dining halls.  You have at least one de facto thing in common no matter what: griping about professors.  It’s difficult not to make friends.  The hard part comes after you graduate.

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How do deal with difficult people…because we can’t avoid them forever!

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We all have relationships with people in our life that are not easy. Sometimes we encounter difficult people while driving—the people who cut across 4 lanes of traffic to make that left hand turn while on the phone. Sometimes we encounter difficult people in our personal life— people who we have daily interactions with like a coworker or a family member. Sometimes we have dealt with difficult people in our past and we have carried that hurt with us into our adult life.

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Shiva in the new digital age

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When my mother got sick two years ago from cancer, I spent a lot of time utilizing Facebook as a way to raise money for her treatments, by posting information through an online fundraising account and updating information on how she was doing via Facebook. I did this because Facebook was the largest platform that I could think of to reach the largest number of people. Last fall, when she passed away, I felt it was only appropriate to post about it on Facebook since she her friends were following her progress there. That day, I received over 200 Facebook likes and comments. I also got a handful of text messages and calls, but only one person showed up at my house the whole first month I was grieving. Why was this? I realized in that moment that Shiva has dramatically changed in this new digital age. When it comes to death (and other uncomfortable subjects), it is easier to post a comment on Facebook or send a text than it is to go to someone’s house and be with them in person.
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A New Way to Look at A Crush

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Sarah had been with her boyfriend for three years. She was very happy with him and they could see a future together.  Because of this, she was baffled every time she went to her graduate chemistry class because she got intense butterflies for one of her classmates.  Every time he walked into class and smiled at her or every time she heard him say something smart she would get weak in the knees. She had no intention of leaving her boyfriend for this other guy, and yet–part of her felt guilty for feeling attracted to this person and fantasizing about being with him for the few moments after he walked into the room.
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