Jealousy and how to combat it
Jealousy can come in all shapes and sizes. When we perceive that someone else has something of value but we do not. Though we may not be proud of it, it seems that for most of us it is a part of the human condition to frequently feel jealous of others. We might be jealous of a girl who has a smaller waist or we might be jealous of a guy who can play soccer better. Jealously normally has to do with our own self-worth and wanting to be like someone else or have what they have. Here are some tips on how to combat jealously if you feel it:
- Let’s say that you are jealous of someone’s looks. Try looking at that person as more than their looks and see if you would want their whole life. Would you also want their job? Their house? Their spouse? Their family? Sometimes putting their life in perspective with yours makes it easier.
- Write down the qualities of the person who makes you jealous. In what ways do you want to be like him or her? Are these qualities things that you can develop within yourself? How can you take action to empower yourself to practice these ways of being?
- Pay attention to where you feel the jealousy emotion in your body. Are you angry or sad? Do you have a burning sensation in your belly or are you clenching your stomach? These are signs that you are going through physical discomfort. Try to pin point where you feel the emotion in your body. By bringing awareness to where you are holding onto the emotion, you might find that your body releases the tension by itself.
- Erma Brombeck said, “The grass is always greener over the other person’s septic tank.” Keep in perspective that the people who you are jealous of could possibly be jealous of something that you have that you take for granted. The girl who is really skinny might be allergic to dairy and gluten and can only eat specific super healthy foods that don’t taste great. It is possible for her to be jealous of the fact that you can eat anything without feeling sick. It is important to remember that our experience is always only ours. This means that we can never fully accurately judge someone else without walking in their shoes first.
- Remember your absolute uniqueness. There was never and will never be another person on this planet who is exactly like you. Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of that. You are worthy of love and belonging just like anyone else.
- Jealousy just makes us unhappy. Choose happiness instead. Focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t is the easy road to happiness. Quoting Ziggy (the cartoon): “Happiness doesn’t depend on how much you have to enjoy, but how much you enjoy what you have.”