When do you know its right to move in with a significant other?
Moving in with a significant other can be great. Having privacy together especially if you are used to living at home or with roommates where you sacrifice some of your alone time to be with others, can be a meaningful experience. You will get to see how you both are with one another in your most comfortable setting—behind closed doors. You both will be able to tell what works naturally and what needs working on. It might even feel like you are playing house, which can feel exciting and fun. It can also be rewarding to spend so much time together doing exactly what you want to do. It can be a big money saver if you guys split rent and groceries. Some couples who move in together even create a joint savings fund for groceries, fun activities, and household expenses. Moving in with someone will definitely show you how well the two of you mesh together.
But when is it right to move in? How will you know you are ready? Timing is everything when it comes to moving in with a significant other and it is really important that each person states his or her hopes and fears before moving in. Getting on the same page with your partner usually takes having honest and open dialogue about what you want, where you are in your lives, and what it means to live with each other. It takes a lot of trust in your foundation as a couple.
Now, I’m not trying to scare you—but there are a lot of things to consider before making such a big decision. It shouldn’t be taken too lightly.
Here are some ways to know if it’s time for you both to move in together:
- You’ve spent the night at each other’s place a lot and love it. That could be a good deciding factor because it shows that you are already living life together and want to sleep in the same place more often than you want to sleep alone.
- You are compatible bed-mates. Are you comfortable bed-mates? Do either of you snore? Does one of you thrash around or sleepwalk?
- You feel comfortable having uncomfortable talks. You’ve talked about your finances and what you can and cannot afford. You’ve talked about splitting groceries and whose name will be on the lease.
- You have discussed your expectations about what it means to live together. Are you both on the same page? Will this lead to marriage? Is it just for fun to see where it will lead? Or am I unsure of what I want?
- You have similar lifestyles and values—Is one of you an early bird and the other has never seen a sunrise? Are you on the same page about having people over?
- You are totally yourself with one another and feel excited and confident about your future together.
- You’ve fought and been able to listen to each other, fight fair, work it out, learn from it, and grow together. Having arguments in relationships is normal and important when it comes to working and growing as a couple. Not every fight should look like an episode of Maury, but it is important to speak honestly and address conflict if it arises. By addressing it soon after you feel it you can actually process it more quickly with your partner and don’t build up long term resentment.
- You have an open and honest relationship with mutual respect and admiration. You care deeply about each other and are willing to commit to your relationship.