ifIknew

ifIknew is a health initiative for young adults that uses a multi media approach, including social media and in person programs, to address the contemporary issues that impact the well-being, self-image, careers, and relationships of people in their 20's and 30's.

If I Knew is a prevention education project that raises awareness about risky behaviors that can profoundly impact lives.

When going through a break up by way of getting dumped, there are 12 important things to remember:

picture We’ve all gone through break-ups and we all have our go to methods for dealing with the pain. Some people drink, some smoke, some go for quick “rebounds”. Regardless of what you choose to do, we are we’ve got 11 tips to use when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Trust me, they may just do the trick.

1. When your heart breaks, instead of breaking inward, allow yours to break open. Wide open. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable and in that space you will find gratitude and wonder, instead of just heartbreak and pain.

2. We often forget that our hearts have broken before. We forget that our hearts have broken in many different ways and in a variety of circumstances with many people. We feel like it is always the first time. If we remember that we have been through it before, we know we can survive it. This is a good reason to not let heart break stop you from finding love again. It just shows you that heart break is a part of loving someone because in life, we put our hearts on the line.

3. Take time to reconnect with who you are. Sometimes we go through break ups because we have disconnected from what we want and need. It is so easy to get caught up in someone else’s life. Let this be the time where you make yourself a priority. Do something for yourself that feels good.

4. Instead of playing over and over in your head how you would have wanted the break up to have gone and revisiting your past, take a moment to acknowledge the present and where you are now. If you got dumped, as hard as it is, remember that overall, that person is doing you a favor because why would any of us want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with us? You are worth more than that.

5. Ask a good friend to be your temporary “texting/calling buddy”. One of the hardest things people go through in breakups is not having someone there anymore to talk to about the day to day things. It can get lonely. Find a friend who you can temporarily text your everyday thoughts and feelings to. This will give you an outlet to connect with someone and share how you feel.

6. Set some new goals for the new you. Doesn’t matter if it’s not New Years, go ahead and write yourself some new resolutions. This will help you stay motivated to continue working on yourself, even if you don’t feel like it. Give yourself little rewards along the way to help keep you on track.

7. Remember that it’s okay to feel sad for as long as you need to. If you ignore your feelings, you only suppress them and make your pain worse. If you are not okay, instead of pretending that you are, try talking it out, journaling, or finding a safe and creative outlet to share your feelings.

8. Don’t let yourself feel pressure to date sooner than you are ready to. If you prematurely date after a break up, it is more likely that you bring a similar unhealthiness into your next relationship.

9. Remember that you attract what you give out. If you attracted a relationship that was unhealthy, take some time to write out your unhealthy habits and work on those. If you get in a good place with yourself, you will inevitably attract someone who can have a higher quality relationship with you.

10. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you. We tend to feel guilt and shame with a break up because we don’t always know what went wrong. The best thing to do is not to self-destruct. Even if everything feels personal, there are many factors that lead to a couple breaking up and they don’t all always have to do with just you. Take responsibility for you and don’t be too hard on yourself.

11. Remember that the memories you shared with the person you were with are still valid memories for you to call on. Sometimes when we go through a break up, it feels like we have to erase the part of our life that we shared with that person. It feels like we can no longer take ownership of those events or be empowered by them. Instead of thinking of it like that, remember that those moments were important moments of your life at that time, even if they are no longer relevant.

12. We would never learn from our relationships if we only had perfect ones. Don’t have any regrets. The relationships that hurt are the ones that teach us how to be better in our future relationships. They are the ones that teach us how to grow and love more fully. Even during a break up, there is always something to be grateful for. It was, at the least, an opportunity for you to grow.