Just like our GPS, sometimes we all need to do some “recalculating”
You may feel lost. You may feel like you are on board a ship with a captain with no compass. It may even feel like you are far away in another country & whoever is doing the translating for you has had too much to drink.
That feeling is normal before any change occurs. The truth is--we can never predict how a change will affect us before it happens, even if we thoroughly prep ourselves. In the famous words of Outkast, “You can plan a pretty picnic but you can’t predict the weather.” Being adaptable to change is one of the greatest tools you have to help process challenges.
I’ve gone through a lot of changes. Here are the best tools I’ve learned for dealing with big changes:
- Be kind to yourself. Make time in your schedule to do something that feels comforting whether that be creating something artistic or taking a long walk/run. When you can find quiet time in your life, your intuition will guide you in the right direction.
- Let go of your “should’s.” Having self-judgement makes change even harder. Next time you catch yourself saying, “I should have…” take a deep breath and change the “should” to “I can choose to do this or I can choose to do that. Which options feels right to me at this time.”
- Let go of your expectations during the change. The more you try to control the process-the longer it will take for you to accept your new reality. Be open to what is happening by surrendering and acknowledging that there must be personal growth in the change even if it feels scary.
- Try to let out whatever emotions come to the surface while you are processing the change. This could include mediating on how you are feeling, writing down your emotions, letting yourself cry or laugh, or getting out anger through exercise. The more accurately you can be honest with yourself about how you are feeling, the quicker you can process the change and heal from it.
- When everything around you is changing, look for the part of you that doesn’t change. The part that is calm, centered, and always present.
- Surround yourself with a team of people who can help you navigate the change. These may be people who have been through a similar change and can relate or be people who you admire and who have the right skills to help guide you through the change. It could be both. One of our biggest flaws as human beings is the tendency to keep thinking we are alone. Whatever the situation, there is always someone who can help.
- Create a plan for yourself and take action. This plan could be as small as remembering to brush your teeth and eat breakfast every morning or it could be as large as moving to a new place or finding a new job. Whatever the action is, put your energy into something positive.
- Remember that this change may be bigger than just you and your life. It is always important to keep your life in perspective and be grateful for the life you have.
“If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you.”- Brian Andreas